patong - dance with the devil, day 17

in a haze that seemed dreamy to me, i left my sanctuary on samui for the lights of patong beach in phuket. the airport in samui cradled a curled, dozing body of mine for the last hour, then i was picked up and slung towards phuket island in the west. i'd heard so many mixed reviews, i was interested to set the record straight. photo of the open-air airport in samui:

From vietnam / thailand trip

i land and have a brief conversation with a older american from st. louis, who still attempts to mix with the youthful crowd. strolling on to the bus, the heat swells and i brace myself for the inevitably long ride. by the time i'm at the hotel in patong, it's 4 o'clock and i'm strolling on the beach. it's a pretty comparable scene from most beach towns i've taken in this trip. parachute boats ripping though the foreground and bikini clad westerners dipping in ankle deep water. it's pretty enough, but not going to make my top gun beach list.

From vietnam / thailand trip

in search for some local cuisine, i inquire at my hotel. the receptionist tells me there is a market outside of the main drag and that it is very authentic. strolling towards the market, i'm noticing fewer and fewer westerners; i must be on the right path. the market, like all others in thailand would fail any fda test. meats sit out in the scorching heat for many hours, flies buzzing around and the smell of overripe fruit, (mostly durian), almost floors me. i quickly run up the steps to the food court, which apparently is what my receptionist was talking about. why not? i order the chicken rice, which is what most people are enjoying. the price is right at 40 bhat ($1.33). i desperately need a pineapple shake, but the vendor woman is no where to be found. i sit eating and spicing my food up, (to the delight of the locals) and finally get my pineapple shake to my tastebud's relief. time to stroll back to the neon pavement, back to where i blend in.

patong at night is such a different animal. this town has two faces, easily uncovered. during the day its wading pool / beachy persona is posted akin to the faux smile given to your mom when trying to look cool in your pack of middle school friends. once the poles have dancing partners on the strip and the town is painted in blacklight, patong's lips pull back to uncover extended canine teeth. the grit isn't just the sand from the beach. again, being a solo male, i get offers for sex, drugs and pingpong shows. part of me reverts to my 13 year old persona, wide eyed and shocked at the spectacle framed by women grinding on poles. i make my way into some clubs, but it's way too early and the only "patrons" are prostitutes and older ferang (white) men. wondering the streets, i meet up with the aussies at the factory club and i attempt to dance away my shock. after j-lo and a couple of gaga tunes, we retreat to the backstreets where expats and some travelers take comfort at tiny bars. it's apparently the birthday of the aussie's local friend / bartender who plies us with drinks, dancing around in celebration as we play games and close the tiki bar out, (i scribble my name under the cabana). the aussies say goodbye and i walk home reflecting on patong. the late night clubs were fun, as was mixing with the locals, but the in-your-face adult playground wore on me and it's clear, i have to make a run for koh phi phi.

small note: sorry for the lack of photos at night, i was concerned about my camera being lifted from my possession. i understand written descriptions aren't as visually telling, but hopefully you get the picture (pun!).

samui - my hangover/paradise left, day 16

upon studying the effects of energy drinks and bacardi, i have to conclude the hangover was twice as potent. still this can't slow me down and i still wake up early enough to grab the breakfast buffet; in perspective that was 4 hours after i crashed. breakfast mostly consisted of heaps of bacon, chicken fried rice and fruit. don't knock it until you try it, there is something very healing about salty cuts of pork savored on a pallet dealt alcohol in spades all the previous night.

dubiously, i entertain the thought maybe the headache would reside a bit if i got a haircut. my regular cut is pretty standard, minus the fact i've got 2 cowlicks. that's nothing a little language can overcome, right? i sit down waiting while the barber finishes details on the local lady before me. she has a peanut gallery and they are all racing 1000 km an hour in thai. then before i could ponder the effects of a set of clippers to my achy scalp, i'm in the operating chair. i motion lengths, pantomime clipping and twirl my fingers above my cowlicks; my charades skills in play. she nods and picks up the clippers and by the time she is done finishing with a straight edge blade, i can't help but wonder how much it would cost to come to thailand for haircuts every 3 weeks. to my laughter, she asks if i was at the full moon party and i affirm, wondering how she knew until i get home and look in the mirror. there is glow body paint all over the side of my face.

i have a feeling this will be a day of rest., but i've heard whispers of a buddha so grand it can be seen from the other side of the island. i grab a transport over to what i believe is the northerly side of the island. the truck leisurely winds through the island and finally drops me off at a dusty peninsula. at first, i wonder if the driver was at the full moon party the night before too, but i look and sure enough there is a buddha head sticking out in the distance. i walk the dusty trail down the beach and arrive at the statue. it's huge, and even though i haven't seen wat pho yet, i'm pretty sure this will be one of the bigger buddhas on the trip.

From vietnam / thailand trip

From vietnam / thailand trip

after relishing the statue's momentous scale and taking in the view from the platform, i head back home. i get lost finding the bus, but hire a local lady for the same price who is happy to drive me back home. i'm still not feeling up to par, so i grab a bottle of singha and lounge by the poolside soaking up rays like the doctor prescribed them. i meet a flock of aussies who are friendly and we end up heading out for dinner. since we are all pretty satisfied after partying the night before, we decide to wrap up the night with a massage and head to bed. like myself, they are off to phuket tomorrow. they speak very highly of the nightlife over there and i'm considering if all the pointed views i've heard are wrong. we will soon see, dear reader.

samui/koh panang or don't fight the feeling or fullmoontitus, day 15

i woke up early and was finally able to enjoy the buffet put on by p'somporn's resort. it was largely bacon and pad thai with a helping of bacon. i need all the energy i can muster for tonight as many people party all night and wake to greet the sunrise in the morning. this ain't my first rodeo though, cowboy. i've done carnival in rio and if i can do that, this should be a walk in the park on a segway.

i spend most of the day wondering around cheweng, which is a real touristy spot. dozens and dozens of shops run alog both sides of the road. they all sell the same things for about the same price, although that's always flexible and no doubt comes with the 'white tax'. massage parlors are almost every other space and the running joke of their pronunciation of 'massaaaage' brought me many laughs. i walk into the wrong shop and asked for a price and am handed a subtle menu which includes such packages as 'massage and sex' for 2500 bhat, i quickly make a break for the door. the strange thing is prostitution is illegal, yet these shops flat out slate it on a menu. i walk to a legitimate massage parlor and get a thai massage for 6 bucks. some people think it's rough, but I enjoy deep tissue massage, so it's right up my alley.

From vietnam / thailand trip

i make my way back to cheweng beach resort and take my first stroll up and down the beach. the sand is quite lovely, very powdery and light. i go for a swim but there are jellyfish everywhere and i freak out quite a bit after getting stung in brazil. i soak up some sun on the patio and chat with the aussie couple, who are headed to see the insanity that is full moon on koh panang, too. brad kicks my ass in ping pong. running into multitudes of aussies, i've had numerous conversations and find so many elements about their society interesting. they have a minimum wage for age brackets, so as you get older you make more aaaand their minimum wage starts at about 10 an hour, i hear. it's very expensive to live down there though and i've heard that a lot of people in my age bracket have drug problems. due to their main source of income coming from tourism, they are highly dependent as many countries about safety and perception of their image. apparently oprah has helped them with the image and advertising, perhaps she did it for some kangaroos and to have the opera house unofficially dubbed the oprah house? time to get ready for the ball cinderella! i walk across to the 7-11, (yes, they are everywhere) and grab some native redbull to artificially pump me up for the party.

From vietnam / thailand trip

 
i've chartered a speedboat with some others to koh panang. i meet some moon rapture buddies outside of the resort and our bus pulls up a little late. we head north to said speed boat and join with more party goers. there are a couple of dudes from germany, one brazilian, one dutch, and two aussies. i always relish any chance i get to speak portugese and i start chatting with gabi from sao paulo and her friend vanessa from holland. we get off the boat and pay the entrance fee, which is probably to keep the beaches clean, and we receive bright colored bracelets with a palm tree and what resembles a booze bucket. we walk through the town which seems to be bursting at the seams and get some food. my kee mao almost burns the roof off, they made the assumption I could handle the heat since i ordered something off the regular menu. we walk down to the beach where all the action will go down. it's sparsely inhabited, but people are spilling out in droves. it's hard to imagine ten thousand people getting crunked and bumping uglies on the beach during my full moon. yes, i do mean my full moon, i bought it off a dude selling pills on the beach for 500 bhat. we search where to buy buckets of booze, which are the ceremonial flaggon for this celebration and there are a plethora of stands with entertaining signs mostly selling the potency of their products with swear words and movie lines. we decide the same same, but different stand is the best and grab redbull and bacardi buckets. night is falling like a curtain at the end of a show, in a moth-ish fashion we head towards the brightest light which happens to be the flaming jump rope (later I'm told the clinics on the island sponsor these). in the spirit or spirits of adventure i decide to try it. i've seen enough people fail and get scalded but nothing serious yet. i ready myself and some local runs before me and jumps in. since the rope arches up towards the hurlers, i decide to wait until he leaves before jumping in. he leaves and i rush in, the burning braid brushing against my foot on my first jump, but i figured it out after that and got about 7 jumps before it got my foot again. partially due to my excellent training in school, i immediately drop to the sand and do my stop, drop and roll. i survived! proof below:



which was better than some other stories i heard: one guys hair caught on fire and another's groin ignited, that's gotta hurt. we went down a slide, which was considerably less dangerous. then on to the beachy dance floors, with their strange black light obelisks floating eerily in the air. there were platforms to dance on and the rest of the night was more of a blur to me. i lost track of my new friends and made it back to the speedboat around 3am. i return to my room around 4am and crash, exhausted, in a heap on the bed. i howled at the moon, spilling booze from my bucket whilst dancing up a storm and braved a flaming jump rope. i'm positive the reflection of the moon lay in my eyes as my lids closed.

From vietnam / thailand trip

From vietnam / thailand trip

From vietnam / thailand trip

From vietnam / thailand trip

samui - boat tours and treacherous hikes, day 14

From vietnam / thailand trip

waking early again, but it's always for a good cause. i'm lucky no one is traveling with me, sometimes i think i have the sleeping patterns of grandparents, minus the fact i stay out all night. on to the boat tour up north in the national park. i set up with burmese peter. the aussies from dinner are in the van and i get the cherished front seat again (another motif on this trip). i promptly pass out and wake up on the dock where we are shepherded on the barge. a german girl named nele sits next to us and we get partnered to kayak together. she speaks 5 languages and is 19; wtf is up with our school system?? first off, sea kayaking for only an hour or so and our german guide tries her darnedest to sound as interested informing us about the history as someone answering the thirteenth 'why' asked by a persistent 4 year old. she deftly cruises at breakneck speeds that nele and i actually have to work to keep up and i feel bad for everyone else. we dart in and out of a cave and along the edge of the cliffs. we pull up to the shore and hike up the first steep stairway up to the green lagoon. pictures to follow.

From vietnam / thailand trip

we slowly descend after i fail to find a way down to the lagoon and are informed we can't swim in the lagoon because fish breed there. we have a quick dip to cool off, then it's back to the boat for the lunch. it is very meh, unfortunamente. then it's off to another island which apparently has a difficult hike to an amazing viewpoint of all the islands. the disapproving german guide strongly advises against hiking it in sandals but nele and i disregard her. she wasn't kidding either. the hike is supposed to take 45 min up and 45 down. thoroughly dripping in sweat and partially rock climbing as well as clinging to the guiding rope for dear life, we make it to the final shear craggy cliff below the lookout. somehow the rock has worn down to resemble blades of prehistoric axes. we make it to the top and relish the view, not wanting to imagine how the decent will be. there are tons and tons of Germans and nele gets back to her native tongue for a moment. i fantasize about having a kite and flying down. there is the minute possibly that could add to the danger seeing as i've never hanglided before.

From vietnam / thailand trip

 
the decent is a nightmare and despite my sandals slipping off so many times i lost count, i only fell once gashing my elbow with the pseudo axe face of the cliff. climbing backwards is painfully slow and there are many people in shoes almost running down the hill. the insect noise inspires me a bit, but it's probably an hour in total for the decent and our cooloff period is cut short as the boar is headed back. we head back and to cheweng beach to lounge for a bit before the mosquitoes bleed us dry. The attempt to meet up with the Aussie ladies almost doesn't happen due to a misunderstanding about betelnut's ( a restaurant ) name. but we find them eventually and have a nice dinner as do the skitos. it's goodbye to nele and off to bed for yours truly, tomorrow i will witness the madness brought on by the full moon and hopefully see no werewolves.

- written on my ipod so apologies for weird formatting. will edit on return.

updates

sorry for the lack of updates recently. time flew by as i had commutes. i'm off to bangkok today and then back to seattle. i will hopefully find some time to write in bangkok tonight and i will fatefully finish the trip's journal even if it's back in the states when i do. koh samui, phuket, koh phi phi and bangkok all to be elaborated on shortly.

-the author

samui - meeting a resort mogul, day 13

another early flight, but upon landing in samui, i realize it's worth it. the airport is luxurous and open air. when i arrive at cheweng resort, i'm greeted by a very nice staff and shown a room which in comparison to my chiang mai experience, i start laughing. mostly due to how incredibly decadent it is.

From vietnam / thailand trip

i could post more photos, but you can also look at my picasa page. i think they messed up and gave me the honeymoon suite. fortunately it was close to my 29th anniversary living with myself and a good reason to celebrate. the man behind all of this is p'somporn, who is a relative to a friend who jay introduced me to. on top of the awesome pad, which included a pool and a great restaurant, i also got the full tour of all his resorts including his new one. he has researched different styles of architecture from all over the world and it definitely shows. the new resort is going to be so swank, he will set the tone for the rest of the luxury resorts on the island.

From vietnam / thailand trip

after seeing p'somporn's new resort, i head back to the cheweng resort and go for a dip in the water. i meet some aussies and we decide to meet up at the rasta bar that night. i wonder more up and down the beach, grabbing dinner on the main drag at a restaurant called the aussie bbq or something. the service was abysmal, it took them almost an hour to make my meal, a seafood pad thai. the waiter keeps telling me 5 more minutes and my mango shake is decimated by the time my food comes. some aussie ladies sat down next to me, i commented that i hope they weren't hungry. they laughed, but in fairness it took 45 minutes for the salads they ordered. they are going on a trip to the wilderness reserve and i found out they purchased it from a man named peter just up the road. i ask for the check several times and send scathing looks in a vain attempt to speed up the billing process. island time. i buy the tour from peter, who is a burmese who fled and has lost a lot of his family; mostly due to illness, but still it's a grim situation. i thank him and skidattle to the rasta bar.

this whole trip has not been the most pleasant for a man traveling alone. the aussies had told me this bar is past a bunch of shady clubs and i would have to deal with women hassling me. it's not as bad as chiang mai though where one actually jumped on me like a monkey, i just kept walking and assuring her i wasn't going to buy her a drink. she finally got the point and let go. anyway, they assume the darkest of a man alone at night and it was a true pain to get to the rasta bar. there is a live band and the club is absolutely, utterly empty. so empty the band is playing songs directly to me and my clapping echoes solitary appreciation. i'm close to finishing this beer and the aussies are nowhere to be seen. all i can think is i'm truly sad for this band, who, minus the drummer is giving it a pretty good effort for a gigantic empty house and pondering exit strategies. could i look like i'm going to the bathroom and just leave? should i applaud and walk out? should i get up in the middle of the song and leave or would they announce my flight? fortunately, the aussies show up and i have a couple of drinks with them. they ordered some popcorn, which took the place of some salgados and i realized i was getting torn up by mosquitoes. those bastards are horrible over here. i bid the couple goodnight and walk past the redlight district home. tomorrow, the island tour awaits me.

chiang mai - water and elephants, day 12

the hangover is the worst so far on the trip. i ponder how much i could pay the guide to not take me to the mountains when a firm rap is upon my prison cell door. i made this bed, i'm going to lie in it. as i climb in the back of the pickup truck, i wonder how kind the roads will be.

i try not to pay attention to the swaying car and the bad road and meet my compadres. there are 2 from good ol' america, 2 brits, 1 girl from hong kong and 4 koreans. as everyone knows my nature, i still managed to talk my head off with a hangover. the hour and a half drive was pretty rough, but the payoff was coming. i was paired with the girl from hong kong for the elephant ride which was amazingly rough, we sat on a rice bag and had a rail that wasn't attached to hold onto as the elephant trod up and down a mountain mind you. i would say our elephant definitely had a personality though, he stopped whenever he pleased and i would pass him bananas that he would take and toss aside. ingrate. it was definitely a memorable experience though.

From vietnam / thailand trip

then it was on to the hike up to the waterfall. a windy road along the stream where most fear to tread. sometimes you would skip over stepping stones across the stream. other times there were a couple of bamboo logs tied to eachother, which i prayed wouldn't break under the strain of my weight. they didn't. another great payoff and excellent cool down, i went in and sat under the waterfall for a while, getting my own version of a swedish massage. on to whiter water: white water rafting.

From vietnam / thailand trip

i got placed in the whiter person raft although i was feeling bad i wasn't with the girl from hong kong, because she didn't know how to swim. but that wasn't going to happen, right? after an extremely brief and detailed speech in broken english about how to handle oars, rapids and commands they gave me a helmet too small for my big dome, stuck a paddle in my arms and plunked me onto the raft. it was intense and we took on quite a bit of water, but we weren't prepared for what happened to the other raft. as we came around a bend, we saw their raft flipped over and the poor hong kong girl clutching a rock for dear life. our guide pulled aside and deftly swam across the rapids to help the other guide recover the oars and help her out of the water. but where were the koreans? apparently when it flipped they didn't stick around to help the poor girl out and left her there. assholes.

we finished the rest of the trip on the raft and went on to bamboo floating which they also call bamboo submarines. quite an odd feeling sinking in the water on a swaying bamboo raft lazily going down the river. all i could think was, 'where is my beer?'. it was almost time to wrap up the trip and we had a visit to a tribes village in the mountain. it literally was 5 minutes so i didn't get much information at all. they did have a few pigs though.

i returned back to the hostel to meet ken, a old coworker of my father's and we had a great chat walking though the night market. he has quite a bit of insight into the banking woes, like dad, but also has firm experience within international banking, so i was quite interested in what he had to say. ken preached about thailand and how it's great to retire there, i can see his life is quite comfortable and he seems very happy. his wife gia was very nice too, although we didn't have much time to chat. obligatory photo:

From vietnam / thailand trip

after that, i went to bed as i flew out of chiang mai at 6 in the morning.
(the airport)

From vietnam / thailand trip

onward and southward to koh samui, where the full moon lurks and i learn to live like a king.